Up too late. Again. I’m super sleepy, but I must write because I made a promise to myself, and each stroke of the keys is me following through and keeping my word. Feels good, even though my right eye is closed and my left eye is drooping, and bouncing closed and open and closed and open again. Damn, I’m sleepy.
Some pretty cool things are unfolding right now; and some pretty scary stuff too. I love my life; and sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. I’m GRATEFUL for every day I’m being given here to LIVE and explore this human journey.
Sometimes I allow petty things to get under my skin, and when I do I feel shame and judgement toward myself that I’m no Pema Chodrin when it comes to Grace; except when I am. And for those moments, when I get to walk in compassion, I’m so grateful.
I call my unenlightened moments, “Spiritual Narcolepsy” because I can feel totally Spiritually awake one moment, and then the next I’m seething because someone darts in front of me to steal the only parking space for blocks on the hottest day of summer when I’m on a deadline. I feel myself become livid at times; then I breathe and think, “I am THAT too.” And eventually I come back to a place of love for the asshole, and forgiveness for myself for having judged said hole as such.
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That first segment was written sometime after midnight last night. I fell asleep before I could finish and hit “send.”
The following segment is a celebration of my past, present, and future. This first performance of Slow Down Groove was about finding something within myself to share as an artist. It was risky for me, and I thank “Sally Sincere” and “Trixy Lane” from Off The Record Cabaret for coming out to play and share their gifts. I found courage in our rehearsals to finally share this piece LIVE. I felt so shaky at times I could barely sing, especially at the beginning, but it was so much fun to share this little autobiography.
Terror creeps up sometimes as I’m about to perform, and it happened at the beginning of this song. =) It resulted in a couple of little pitch issues, but I’m happy with the overall performance… a good first effort…. singing through knocking knees. =)
CLICK THIS LINK TO WATCH THE VIDEO: Please respect the 18 or over guideline for viewing. https://vimeo.com/139434593
This song is really more of a musical story with its loose structure. It was a nod to my past, from classic good girl to exotic dancer to preacher’s wife to performance artist. Yes. THAT all happened. And I’m no longer ashamed, because those experiences were a time of tremendous growth and humility for me. I’ve learned so much about life; things I would have been well-served to learn as a younger woman. I learned about judgement and misogyny and personal empowerment, negotiations, boundaries, and TRUE self respect.
Thanks for being here and reading this, however it may land for you.
Here is to brighter tomorrows for everyone.
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Here is a little something from the PARADOX show on 9/9/15. There is better sound recorded on a TASCAM, but I’m not able to sync it up right now, so here is the raw, live sound from the video camera.
Here is the direct Vimeo link if you’d like to share it directly: https://vimeo.com/140997873
Thank you to everyone supporting my art… and ultimately ME in doing so. I’m grateful.
So far 44 is amazing. In the past 7 days since my birthday, I’ve done my first LIVE SHOW in Burbank and gone camping in Joshua Tree for 4 days; my first time camping in the desert alone, but not really alone because I was surrounded by other campers attending #Bhaktifest 2015. AMAZING!! I also started a new position at work as a cashier for “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store” and got the video footage from my show, PARADOX.
I’m SO EXCITED about what we were able to capture on 9/9/15 at Theatre Banshee, and look forward to making more clips available as they are ready. I feel as if I’ve stepped through a magical door I’ve been looking at for years from the other side. And on THIS side of the door, I’m singing, dancing, and doing my thang as a performance artist. It feels good.
Here is the first video for “Slow Down Groove in C minor,” featuring Steve Postell and Matt Cartsonis on guitar and the Goddesses of Off The Record Cabaret, Sally Sincere and Trixy Lane, dancing to celebrate the feminine. It was such a fun night. =) This clip is a little naughty, which was part of the fun.
Thanks to everyone supporting my artistic journey. I’m so grateful.
Love to all-
THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of the support of my show. I’m feeling it pour in from friends and loved ones. YOU are wind in my sails!!
I just finished the trailer for Leela Vox – PARADOX – September 9th at Theatre Banshee! Check it out on the link below. xoxo
Hey Loves! Life is fleeting, so let’s PLAY while we are able!!!
For some reason, I feel like I’ve been drifting from friends lately. Some have died. Some have just sort of drifted with space and time. I’m learning that, for me, there is no “goodbye” with Soul Friends, just, “until we meet again,” if only in thought.
At times, there is some sadness and longing for friends I no longer see, but beneath it, just gratitude that I was given even a moment of connection. Life is just a series of moments. That’s it. That’s all. So when it feels like “too much,” I find comfort in the temporary nature of all things… and also grief that all things must end. PARADOX.
Which reminds me…
I’m doing my show PARADOX on September 9th! – It’s about damned time. I’m EXCITED!
And I’m terrified. Voices of doubt come in to say, “Who do you think you are, Ms. Vox… IF that is even your REAL NAME?!”
But I’m doing it… ANYWAY! Internal voices of doubt can kiss my motivated ass all the way from Texas, where I was born, to the Big Apple, where illusions began to fall away, to North Carolina where I got to be a local radio star and exotic dancer, to Portland where I was a radio-star, minister’s wife, raw-food yogi-colonhydrotherapist to Los Angeles, where I now reside and am finding my way as a contributing artist in this soup of brilliant talent and content. Nope… THAT’s not at ALL intimidating. =) So….
ONWARD to whatever brave thing is calling you today.
xoxo – Leela
RAIN in Los Angeles is a healing balm on the chapped earth. I can almost hear the land saying “Thank You, Sky,” between quenching gulps of wet relief.
For me, rain has become a sweet sense of connection to my beloved friends in Portland, Oregon, now in the midst of their long, rainy season.
I never thought I’d miss the rains, or feel so grateful to have been caught in a downpour as I was this evening. This journey south has made me grateful for what I once took for granted.