I abandoned this page some time ago. Life with Leela became complicated and dark. I felt as if I was slipping through the cracks of my own life, grieving the death of dreams and relationships, and even the death itself of loved ones who all died in what felt like a short span of time.
I was depressed and stressed and near hopeless at times. I often actually wanted to just give up and fade out of life itself, an indication of the personal pain I was navigating. It was a scary time. And it wasn’t that long ago, at all. In fact, some days, I’m still in the aforementioned state, a humbling thing to admit.
Each day in this current chapter of my life feels like a choice to simply “be here.” I’m finding my way back to the light, and some days it is heavily cloaked in loss, but I’m still here. I choose life and to once again believe in possibility. I let the pain pick me up and slam me down and have it’s way with me, because “what we resist persists,” and I really do want to live and to find my own version of sustainable happiness.
For anyone now in the darkest of dark… please know that you are not alone. Private message me before “checking out, ” ok? Life CAN get better, but not if we don’t stick around for the miracles. I know that some days the greatest feat for some folks is simply staying alive. I know because I’ve been there, too.
Reach out. Support is available.
In the meantime, click here to play THIS SONG and dance around… even it you don’t want to. I mean it. Even if you hate it, and think it’s stupid. Just do it. Then get outside. Take in the air. Walk around the block. Anything to get out of your head and re-engaged your sense of being alive. I’m not asking you do do anything I haven’t actually tried myself. I promise. =) xoxo