Yesterday, the mind played a game with my heart. Standing in what would have been his favorite isle of the grocery store, I found myself reaching for a familiar treat. I could see him in my mind’s eye, excited by my return with the little nuggets of sensory pleasure.
He would do anything for a treat, even exercise. His peaceful sit ins could never outlast the temptation of a T-R-E-A-T so I’d dangle a baby carrot in front of him and soon we’d be walking in the rain.
Something within me thought, “If I buy these treats he’ll be there when I get home.” The rational mind argued, “He’s gone. He’s never coming back.” “But… he could never resist these… he’ll have no choice.” There I stood, in the purgatory of knowing and wishing. “He would do anything for a treat.” “Anything but that, Love.”
God, I miss him.
Grief is a strange, non-linear beast. The “five stages” don’t necessarily happen in order, or even only once. Today I found myself looping back to denial, though I thought I had already moved through acceptance. Glad I’ll be connecting with my friend Georgena Eggleston today. She’s not only a dear friend, but a gifted Grief Practitioner.
We all experience loss somewhere along the journey. When you find yourself there, maybe you’ll think of my friend, Georgena… and my grief will have been able to somehow serve you both.
We experience. We share. We connect. And in doing so, we heal.